Angry Birds: Seriously

We’ve reviewed lots of iPhone games over the years here at iPhone.AppStorm, but, shockingly enough, we’ve never talked about the one game that gave validity to the iPhone as a gaming platform: Angry Birds. That’s right, the same app that now has merchandise found everywhere from Staples to Hot Topic has never been a under our microscope for review. Why not? Heck if I know, but we’re going to remedy that situation right now.

That’s right folks, it’s Angry Birds for the iPhone, and we’re reviewing it after the jump. 

Those Birds Are Ticked

The concept of the game really isn’t that important in the grand scheme of things, but what the heck, let’s get into it anyways. You’re a bird — well, a group of birds anyways — and your eggs have been stolen by little green pigs that not only hate you, but everything your family stands for. Seriously, they said your mother was so fat that if she dropped her sandwich it would fall into orbit around her waist. They’re jerks is the real gist of what I’m getting at.

I'm just as confused as they are.

I'm just as confused as they are.

To get revenge on the pigs, you have to kill them. Sounds harsh, I know, but the pigs aren’t so dumb that they’re all sitting out in the open waiting for you to do something. They’ve erected forts made from glass, wood and stone, and they’re hiding inside, taunting you with oinks and wayward glances. You need to slaughter them like, well, pigs.

Finger Flickin’ Good

To put these green porkers out of their misery, you’re provided with a slingshot that’s used to fling the birds into the air and at the forts. The farther you pull back, the farther the birds will go, and depending on what angle you use, the higher or lower the arc of their flight pattern will work out.

Pull back to launch ...

Pull back to launch ...

... then hit the target.

... then hit the target.

But that’s not all. There are multiple types of birds in this game, and each one has their own set of advantages and disadvantages. The red bird on the icon is simple, he just flies in the path you give him. Next comes the yellow triangular bird, and he flies the same as the red one, but touch the screen once and he goes into turbo mode, making a beeline for the structure in front of him. There’s also a blue bird, which, although small, will split into three when you tap the screen. That’s just the start of it all really, and the farther you go in the game, the more birds you’ll find.

The Never Ending Challenge

To say that this is a short and sweet game would be like saying that Mount Everest is a tiny hill. There are seven groups, and in each group are anywhere from 30-60 individual levels. Needless to say, this isn’t a game you’re going to play for five minutes and beat, not unless you’re the most awesome person in the universe (and you have fast fingers).

There's a lot of ground to cover in Angry Birds.

There's a lot of ground to cover in Angry Birds.

There are some annoyances in the system, however. Some levels are only unlocked when you like the game on Facebook, for example, which is a shill of a device to try to make the most popular game on the App Store even more popular. And that’s not all that’s irritating.

The Irritating Stuff

There are no iAds or pitches for body spray anywhere in Angry Birds, and that’s because there’s simply no room for anything but Angry Birds advertisements. Tap the bird with the bow in the corner, and you can gift the app to a friend. You can buy an eagle for $0.99 that will allow you to beat a level with one touch. You can buy Angry Birds Seasons or one of the many sequels if you like, or sign up for the newsletter. And don’t forget to like them on Facebook!

Nope, completely not irritating.

Nope, completely not irritating.

This whoring of the product is really my only complaint about the game. It’s fun, easy to pick up and quick to play. But man, the push to sell more, more, more is just insane, and almost surpasses Zynga levels if you can believe that. I get that they have to make money, but it’s consistently in the top 10 for paid apps in the App Store, and there’s so much merchandise that’s out in brick and mortar stores that it’s hard to ignore. What more do they want from us?

It’s Fun — But You Already Knew That

I’m not even sure why I’m telling you this, because chances are pretty good that you already either own Angry Birds, or have played it with a friend. That said, It’s fun, and there’s no doubt about it. Who would’ve guessed that flicking birds at pigs would be such a blast, and yet I’ve lost many an hour to the game myself. Plus, there are so many levels to it, that it’s hard to even beat it — and when you do, you can always replay levels to get more stars. It’s seriously addicting.

My only complaint is the shilling of additional products. And even though it’s not quite as bad as in-app purchases on its own, those are in there too, which just puts the icing on the cake.

So should you get it? If you don’t already have it, $0.99 is nothing to buy what is a stellar game to play and a lot of fun to boot. Now go make those pigs into bacon.


Summary

Flick birds at pigs. No really, that's the game — and it's awesome.

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